“FORUM FRIDAY”

grown-folks-friday-78872742

GOOD MORNING READERS AND FELLOW BLOGGERS, MAY THIS BLOG FIND YOU IN GREAT SPIRITS!

Today I will dedicate my blog to “FORUM FRIDAY”, where I will open up a discussion board for all to share their answers to three questions I will ask. I will  begin with sharing my answers to the questions and leave the comment space available for your answers. The only thing that I request is that we all be respectable of one another’s views and just agree to disagree. With that being said, I look forward to reading your responses and encourage all to participate in this Grown Folks Conversation!

QUESTION 1

IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SIGNIFICANT OTHER OR MARRIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR PARTNER CHEATED ON YOU?

MY ANSWER:

MANY OF US CAN SAY THAT WE HAVE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE AND DESPITE THE FACT WE WERE ADAMANT ABOUT NOT STAYING, SOME OF US CHOSE TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP. I AM ONE OF THOSE INDIVIDUALS WHO HAS BEEN CHEATED ON, BY MY BOYFRIEND AND HUSBAND. I DECIDED TO END THE RELATIONSHIP WHEN I WAS DATING THE BOYFRIEND, BUT WHEN I MARRIED MY HUSBAND THERE BECAME THINGS THAT I ACCEPTED THAT I ALWAYS SAID I WOULDN’T. MY LOVE FOR MY HUSBAND WAS STRONG AND I WAS DETERMINED TO MAKE MY MARRIAGE WORK. FROM DEALING WITH FEMALES BEING VERY DISRESPECTFUL AND RUDELY, I FOUND MYSELF PUTTING UP WITH PROBLEMS I FACED IN HIGH SCHOOL. AFTER NUMEROUS SCENARIOS OF DEALING WITH CHEATING, I FEEL THAT IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IN THE RELATIONSHIP. YOU MUST PUT YOUR FEELINGS FIRST AND WORTH, THEN FIGURE OUT WHY ARE YOU ACCEPTING BEHAVIOR LIKE SUCH. A PERSON CAN BE A CHEATER AND STILL BE A GOOD PERSON, THEY JUST DON’T LOOK AT THE VIEW FROM THE PERSON THEY ARE HURTING, UNTIL THEY GET HURT THEMSELVES. AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I AM, I WILL NOT ACCEPT, ALLOW, PACIFY, ENTERTAIN OR DEAL WITH CHEATING. IF YOU MAKE SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN MYSELF RELEVANT ON A SIGNIFICANT LEVEL, I WILL GRACEFULLY REMOVE MYSELF FROM THAT TRIANGLE. I AM WAY TOO MATURE AND HAVE SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENCE FOR ME TO ACCEPT ANY THING LESS THAN THAT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME TALKING, FIGHTING, ARGUING, REPEATING THE SAME MO AND CONSTANTLY BREAK-UP TO MAKE UP, WITH ANYONE NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. I LOVE MYSELF MORE AND MY EXPERIENCES HAVE RAISED ME TO A LEVEL WHERE THERE ARE THINGS THAT I WILL JUST NOT DO!

QUESTION 2

IN THE CASE WERE INFIDELITY HAS COME INTO THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE WOMAN GETS PREGNANT, WOULD YOU STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP TO WORK IT OUT?

MY ANSWER:

YES, I HAVE MOST DEFINITELY EXPERIENCED THIS SCENARIO AND TRUST ME IT WAS VERY EMOTIONALLY STRESSFUL. MY HUSBAND CONCEIVED A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK AND WHEN HE INFORMED ME OF HIS INFIDELITY, I WAS DETERMINED TO WALK AWAY FROM HIM FOR GOOD. I STOOD MY GROUND FOR SEVERAL MONTHS AND ANYONE THAT KNEW MY HUSBAND UNDERSTOOD HE WASN’T WALKING AWAY. AFTER NUMEROUS EFFORTS AND CONVERSATIONS ON HOW HIS MARRIAGE WAS IMPORTANT, I ACCEPTED HIM BACK. HE SHOWED ME A PICTURE OF HIS SON AFTER HE WAS BORN AND I CRIED BECAUSE THROUGHOUT OUR MARRIAGE, I WASN’T ABLE TO GIVE MY HUSBAND A CHILD AND HE LOOKED JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. KNOWING THAT MY HUSBAND WANTED HIS OWN CHILD, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE RAISED MY CHILDREN, HURT THAT I COULDN’T GIVE IT TO HIM. I WANTED TO BE WITH MY HUSBAND AND LOVED HIM DEARLY, BUT GOD GRANTED HIM KARMA WITH A VERY DIFFICULT BABY MAMA. SHE WASN’T TRYING TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT HE CHOSE TO WORK ON HIS MARRIAGE, SO SHE DECLINED MY HUSBAND MANY TIMES ON SEEING HIS SON. NOT ONLY DID I HAVE TO FEEL THE PAIN OF MY HUSBAND HAVING A CHILD BY ANOTHER WOMAN, NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH BABY MAMA DRAMA. THE WORST PART IS THAT HIS SON HAD TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF SUCH FOOLISHNESS AND THERE WASN’T ANYTHING THAT I COULD REALLY DO. OF COURSE I ENCOURAGED AND ADVISED THAT HE NEEDED TO TAKE LEGAL ACTIONS AS THE FATHER, BUT UNFORTUNATELY BEFORE HE WAS GRANTED JOINT CUSTODY, HE PASSED AWAY. MY HUSBAND SON IS THE INNOCENT PERSON IN THIS STORY AND I WOULD NEVER BLAME A CHILD FOR GROWN FOLKS ACTIONS!

QUESTION 3

IF A CHILD IS BORN OUT OF INFIDELITY AFTER YOU CHOSE TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP, WOULD YOU WELCOME THE CHILD INTO THE FAMILY AND PUT YOUR PERSONAL FEELINGS TO THE SIDE?

MY ANSWER:

TO CONTINUE ON WITH THE ANSWER FROM ABOVE, I NOT ONLY CHOSE TO STAY IN THE MARRIAGE, I WAS OPEN TO ACCEPTING HIS SON INTO OUR FAMILY. WHAT GETS ME IS WHY DO FEMALES HAVE THESE CHILDREN BY THESE MEN AND THEN IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU, HE CAN’T SEE HIS CHILDREN. ALSO, THE WOMEN WHO DON’T WANT NO PARTS OF THE CHILD THAT THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER CONCEIVED DURING THE RELATIONSHIP, STOP IT. WHEN YOU DECIDED TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE IN HIS CHILD’S LIFE AND AS THE BIGGER AND BETTER WOMAN, SUPPORT THAT. I RECALL WHEN I FIRST MET MY STEP-SON AND I COULD TELL BY HIS ACTIONS THAT HE WAS COMFORTABLE IN MY PRESENCE. HE WAS TWO WHEN THIS HAPPENED AND IT IS SAD THAT I COULD TELL THAT HIS MOTHER HAD SPOKEN BADLY OF US BOTH, BUT I WOULDN’T ENTERTAIN IT. UNFORTUNATELY MY HUSBAND HAD TO GO BEHIND HER BACK AND LET ME MEET HIS SON BECAUSE SHE JUST FLAT OUT FORBID IT. UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS WOMAN KNEW NOTHING OF ME, EXCEPT THAT I WAS THE WIFE, I MADE EFFORTS TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM NOT THE TYPE OF WOMAN TO BLAME A CHILD FOR ANYTHING THAT THEIR PARENTS DID. IT WASN’T UNTIL MY HUSBAND PASSING THAT THE BABY MAMA REACHED OUT TO ME AND ASKED FOR SOME ADVICE. BEING THE STRONG WOMAN THAT I AM, I OBLIGED EVEN WHILE I WAS MOURNING MY HUSBAND’S DEATH AS WELL. SINCE I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY STEP-SON’S LIFE, I WASN’T ALLOWED TO BE A PART OF IT AND THAT WAS UNDERSTOOD. YEARS LATER AFTER MY HUSBAND’S DEATH, SHE REACHED OUT AND LET ME SPEAK TO HIM AND I MUST SAY IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST CONVERSATIONS I EVER HAD. DESPITE HER VINDICTIVE WAYS SHE RELEASED ON MY HUSBAND AND I, SHE RAISED A RESPECTABLE YOUNG MAN, AT THE AGE OF 12. WAS IT HARD, OF COURSE IT WAS AND I KNOW EVERYONE MAY NOT HAVE THAT TYPE OF STRENGTH. BUT ONE THING I WON’T DO, IS DEPRIVE A FATHER AND CHILD, THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AND BE IN ONE ANOTHER’S LIFE! 

I WOULD LOVE TO READ YOUR ANSWERS AND WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT TODAY’S QUESTIONS. WE ALL HAVE HAD OUR OWN EXPERIENCES AND NO ONE IS IN THE POSITION TO JUDGE AND I ASK THAT YOU DON’T JUDGE ME. SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS IN THE COMMENTS, I LOOK FORWARD TO READING THEM!

 

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY “FORUM FRIDAY” AND UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, BE SAFE AND HAVE AN AWESOME DAY!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s